everything is better in the blender...

so, i SHOULD be studying. i've got a pile of notes staring at me that are at least 4 inches thick. but i'm finding it hard to, well, find my motivation. i'm done. DONE i say. luckily i'm fortunate enough that pretty much regardless of what i get on this final i'll still pass the class with a decent grade. don't go all freaky on me though friends - i'll pull it together. get my studying ass in gear and all will be well. but tonight, tonight i mix things in the blender and drink them.

i'm very sad about my current state of affairs. nothing new, you can skip this paragraph if you're tired of hearing my fatty-batty moans and groans. but seriously, SERIOUSLY. i'm trying. ok - new goal... lose 25 pounds by the time i head back to school in the fall. that gives me most of may, june, july and part of august... that's roughly 8 pounds a month - 2 pounds a week. i'll have no more excuses. no school. no stress. just me and nuggie and the summer break. it's my diet that's sabotaging me. i'm working out more, not the mostest, but it's for sure improved and still that damn scale betrays me... oh and also, i got my rear in gear and actually took nuggie to the Y's daycare and got my flabby ass on an elliptical for 45 minutes one day this week. it was wonderful and she did great. so - NEW plan - brazillian butt lift + elliptical time + occasionally "wogging" (AKA walking/jogging so i'm ready for the tomato 5k in august) = fitness success. then there's the diet. i suck at this. i've discovered EAS protein shakes (many thanks to bionikate!), those are yummy for breakfast. and dinner i'm pretty good at, i try to cook something healthy for bub and i most nights. but lunch. oh lunch - my foe! i nibble on nuggie's leftovers, i eat some random assortment of fridge bits and then i say to myself - self, you NEED something sweet. go get yo'self that bowl of lucky charms. and i think, well... it's just cereal - eat away, right?? NO! if you see me eating sugary cereal slap my chunky little wrists. this is it. THIS IS IT. we're for real wanting another bambino in the near future and i refuse to do so 25 pounds heavier then i was when i got preggo with the nugget.

so one of my fun missions for myself is to have a "drink of the week" this summer. i started a week early - sue me. i'm attempting to keep all drinks to 115 calories or less. tonight i created a crystal light peach iced tea + lemon smirnoff vodka + a few frozen strawberries and a big handful of ice cubes drinky drink. then i tried some sprite(diet of course) and ice and watermelon smirnoff combo. both delightful... i do have some classier beverages on my summer beverage list. one includes gin+lemonade+champagne. but i really don't do champagne, so i'm thinking just some nice club soda perhaps? or some of that diet sparkly water stuff?

another fun summer mission is reading - for the enjoyment of it. i asked many of you for your suggestions. i ignored them all - i apologize. nuggie and i were trying to kill some time this morning, so while at target i perused the book aisle and picked up two that just seemed interesting... i found these:

this one got me for several reasons. first, i LOVE a good tear-jerker. second, it's a memoir of a man who lost his wife right after child-birth due to a pulmonary embolism. we just learned about this tragic pregnancy complication - so it seemed to make sense to read it right now. i've got a box of tissues ready to go.

this one i snagged b/c bub had heard it was good and hello - who doesn't love a good dead president and vampire book?!?

my third mission for this summer is to knit again. i don't even remember how to cast on. will someone help me? nursing school has sucked all the fun and creativity out of my brain :-)

just kidding - nursing school is the best thing i have EVER done for myself. but that's a blog for another day.

i'm gonna go study now - a little blogging was all i needed i guess :-)

guess i should update...

 it's been a while since i updated (as usual) guess i should say a little something, something. so the pics above and below are of sweet nuggie. the zoo had a huge easter egg hunt for members and we thought she was old enough to enjoy it... i think we were wrong. poor little thing got out on the field and found one and half sad little plastic eggs. she about got run over by the stampede of kiddos. she did however enjoy the zoo :-) the meerkats are her favorite b/c she can get so close to them!

 here are nugg and bub in the nursery at church on Easter. oh she had on the sweetest little dress that her grammy pita picked out just for her, but the little stinker won't.sit.still. so this is the best pic i could get. it's a sweet one of her and daddy though :-)

she's growing way too fast. i'm starting to get the itch to maybe give her a brother or sister but nothing is right right now. our house is SO small and nuggie is such a terrible sleeper - how could she and a new little one share a room? we don't even have room in our bedroom to set up a pack n play, so no new kiddo could sleep in there. and school - i MUST finish school. it's too important to me to stop now. and i'm still a chunk. i keep saying i'll lose these 20 pounds, they're not budging. and money - there isn't any. like really, none. in my perfect world i'd graduate and get a great job and we'd move into a bigger home in a nice neighborhood and then everything would be perfection to have another baby. but life isn't perfect. and i'll probably be pushing old age by the time everything comes together all nice and neat. so what to do? up my anxiety meds times like a billion and have another baby? it'll be ok, right? oh heaven's - don't answer that. all we can do is say a prayer, give it to God and trust that HE knows when the time will be right. my job right now - get through these last three weeks of school.