spanxx alot

it's friday - ole! this really means nothing to me, now that my days are all sort of a big blur of kiddo fantastic-ness... but to all you working stiffs out there - rejoice! it's a LONG, holiday weekend :-)

our holiday weekend will kick-off with a super awesome yard sale. if you know me in real life and want to come by tomorrow, we'll be hawking junk in the grass. come early though. it's gonna be freaking hot, so we'll probably wrap up by lunch time.

after church on sunday we're heading over to see nuggie's gramps. we're spoiled and typically he comes to us, but we're making the trek to him this time. i have to admit, i'm really sort of dreading the car ride. and the being in a new place with nuggie. and the trying to get her to sleep in a strange environment. ugh - traveling with a toddler is really icky :-( we'll survive though.

a dear, sweet friend (who shall remain nameless to protect her cute little spanxx covered tooshie) recommended that i purchase a pair of "spanxx" for my very own. they will change your life she promised me. then they went on sale on zulilly. and so i thought - well woo-freakin-who! the stars aligned for my rear-end!!! i've been rushing to the mailbox each day, hoping my super-panties would arrive. they showed up TODAY! i can't wait to give them a whirl!!

and speaking of woo-freakin-who... i am once again employed! it's been nearly two years since i contributed a paycheck to our little family. a little extra income will be amazing. AND the position i got is perfection. i'm a nurse extern! i seriously couldn't ask for a better way to start my soon-to-be nursing career. it's not the job i applied for or even the one i discussed with the woman in HR the first time we chatted. it's a total, wonderful blessing that this is what came of all of that.

enjoy your memorial day weekend lovies.

molars are a pain in EVERYONE's patootie

oh my sweet nuggie... we think she's getting a new molar. this child takes WEEKS to get teeth. seriously. i feel so bad for her. none of us are sleeping. we're all exhausted. every nerve is frazzled in our house right now. the last two nights i've felt like i'm with a newborn all over again. she scream and cries and throws fits and nothing makes her happy. i hope this one pokes its pearly white little head through soon and she gets some relief. it's only molar 3 of 4 :-(

so so so. i'm kinda ready to go back to school. i've barely been out three weeks. i miss the grown up conversation and i miss classes. i miss lecture. what the heck? i'm a nerd. it's official. my summer class starts may 30 - that'll be a nice little change :-)

i got a second interview (same position)... it's next thur. i HOPE it works out. it's a PRN extern position, so it would be perfection, especially when school starts back up. and it's at the hospital i hope to work at after graduation... fingers crossed and a prayer said!

we've been doing lots of home improvements lately. and by "we" i mean my super, awesome hubby or the guys we've paid to do something. i monitor the situation. and smile when it's done. over the last few months we've had the giant tree removed from our yard, the fence bub built and our roof was replaced on monday. we had some awful hail damage... all these projects make me think about selling the place. our house is cozy and wonderful, but it's tiny and we'd love to have something bigger and in a nicer neighborhood. but our problem is we don't know where to go. we've talked about moving out to portland to be closer to my mom and sister. portland has such a great vibe, but it's also SO far away. we've talked about moving back up indiana. but that's mostly me wanting to raise nuggie in a small town and be closer to my extended family and old friends. bub's not too keen on the idea of 10 months of winter ;-) and of course we've talked about staying here. but the "nice" areas are SO pricey or a very far commute for bub to make it in to work. how do you know what's right? how do you know what to do. life is more complicated now. it's not like when we were first married and had crappy jobs and just rented. we could move any time and any where (which we never took advantage of). now there are good jobs and school to consider, a house to sell or rent out, a baby girl to keep comfy and happy. i know it'll all work out, but i'm such a planner. i'd love to know right now what the future holds so i can look ahead and get ready.

sweet change of subject... my little nuggie is laying down in her crib with her teddy bear. she's all snuggled up with it and keeps patting its back like we do to her when she is upset or doesn't feel well. my little angel-bug, even when she doesn't feel her best she's still so sweet and loving. i think my heart just melted into a puddle.

happy thursday friends.

being an example

over the weekend two women from a church who's beliefs we don't necessarily agree with stopped by our house to "witness" to us. the women from this church roam around our neighborhood ALOT. i admire their courage and their commitment to sharing what they believe - but its always sort of rubbed me the wrong way that someone would knock on my door to try to convert me to their religion. IF i have questions i'll come to you ladies. usually they swing by, give us a pamphlet and move on. this time though one of the women straight up asked me - what do you think about religion and politics mixing? say what?!? those are the two touchiest subjects that no one really even wants to talk about and you knock on my door on a sunday afternoon with my squirmy toddler running around my ankles and want to have a sit down about my personal beliefs about faith and government? uh, no thank you. BUT, i did remember sweet nuggie running around my ankles just then and i thought - hold on a second - i have to be an example to this little lady. and while she has no clue what i'm saying or doing right now so long as i love her and care for her, i better start practicing being the sort of human being i want her to grow to be. so i tried to dialog with them a bit.

i don't often talk about religion and stuff on here, though i do have very strong beliefs and convictions of my own. i just prefer not to jam them down anyone's throat. if you know me in real life, you know i'm a believer and if you want to talk about it - awesome. let's do it.

but these women got me riled up. we chatted a little. and i told the woman i don't think politics and religion NEED to mix. i think the two are separate. and she looked at me like i was a bug on the wall. and she went on to give me a spiel about Jesus being the head of politics. well yes, he was a leader. but that was Jesus. none of us are Jesus lady. and i said to her two things. first of all, my president is NOT my spiritual leader, that's what my pastor is for. second, i think the church needs to start taking on a leadership position. my elected officials, who are more often then not crooked, lieing creeps, do NOT need to be the one's telling me how to live my life. the church needs to be the gentle leaders - guiding us and helping us to come to conclusions on our faith.

so there's this whole north carolina thing going on right now. i get both sides. but again, it has me all fired up. hence this long blog. i have my beliefs. i'm a Christian who believes every word of the Bible is true. but i also think that those are MY beliefs. and i don't need to force others to live by what works for me and my family. so here goes - shame on you north carolina. shame. if Christ still roamed the earth today, i highly doubt he'd be all knotted about about gay people wanting to be married. i think he'd be more concerned with loving people. being kind, honest and just. this is how Christians get a bad name. getting our undies all in a twist about something like this. spewing hate gets us nowhere good. and it isn't what my Lord would have us to do.

the woman and i didn't get much talking accomplished. she was in a tizzy that i didn't believe what she believed. i invited her to come back (while nuggie is napping) and we can talk more then. i hate this sort of thing - i hate confrontation of any kind. but on the other hand, i want to stand for what i believe in - in a loving way - and i want nuggie to grow up being a firm believer who can also be a gentle light to the world. screaming and anger and putting others down gets us NOWHERE. and i do believe that Christ said something about calling others out on their splinter when you've got a huge old log hanging out in your life. a sin is a sin is a sin. and if you think someone's lifestyle is "sinful" then before you go putting them down - take a cold hard look at your own people. we've all got baggage. we've all got things we wished we hadn't done or do. denying people their rights and shouting that they're going to hell because of who they LOVE isn't the way Jesus would have handled this situation at.all.

how does your garden grow - pt 2

i've been out of school for about two weeks now and ta-da - my blogging inspiration has disappeared. during class all i could think was - oh, if only i had time to write about blah, blah, blah. now, all the time in the world and nada. so here ya go - a whole lotta pics of my garden. it's doing wonderfully!!! i've got to brag a little bit!

 here are the tomatoes! all ELEVEN of them. these are my babies. all grown from seed! i LOVE them. there are beefsteak, "money-maker",  small yellow pear tomatoes and cherries. around them are little tomato friendly planties - basil, marigolds, nasturtiums, and onions.

here's the middle bed. the tall growing greenies are beans. they're out of control! the flowers are cosmos. behind the green beans are all the squash, cucumbers and zucchini. 

a close-up of the cosmo! good thing they're so pretty, cause i've got a jallion of them!

zinnia!

baby tomatoes!

baby patty-pan squash!

baby cucumber!

come on over later this summer and i'll make you a salad!

everything is better in the blender...

so, i SHOULD be studying. i've got a pile of notes staring at me that are at least 4 inches thick. but i'm finding it hard to, well, find my motivation. i'm done. DONE i say. luckily i'm fortunate enough that pretty much regardless of what i get on this final i'll still pass the class with a decent grade. don't go all freaky on me though friends - i'll pull it together. get my studying ass in gear and all will be well. but tonight, tonight i mix things in the blender and drink them.

i'm very sad about my current state of affairs. nothing new, you can skip this paragraph if you're tired of hearing my fatty-batty moans and groans. but seriously, SERIOUSLY. i'm trying. ok - new goal... lose 25 pounds by the time i head back to school in the fall. that gives me most of may, june, july and part of august... that's roughly 8 pounds a month - 2 pounds a week. i'll have no more excuses. no school. no stress. just me and nuggie and the summer break. it's my diet that's sabotaging me. i'm working out more, not the mostest, but it's for sure improved and still that damn scale betrays me... oh and also, i got my rear in gear and actually took nuggie to the Y's daycare and got my flabby ass on an elliptical for 45 minutes one day this week. it was wonderful and she did great. so - NEW plan - brazillian butt lift + elliptical time + occasionally "wogging" (AKA walking/jogging so i'm ready for the tomato 5k in august) = fitness success. then there's the diet. i suck at this. i've discovered EAS protein shakes (many thanks to bionikate!), those are yummy for breakfast. and dinner i'm pretty good at, i try to cook something healthy for bub and i most nights. but lunch. oh lunch - my foe! i nibble on nuggie's leftovers, i eat some random assortment of fridge bits and then i say to myself - self, you NEED something sweet. go get yo'self that bowl of lucky charms. and i think, well... it's just cereal - eat away, right?? NO! if you see me eating sugary cereal slap my chunky little wrists. this is it. THIS IS IT. we're for real wanting another bambino in the near future and i refuse to do so 25 pounds heavier then i was when i got preggo with the nugget.

so one of my fun missions for myself is to have a "drink of the week" this summer. i started a week early - sue me. i'm attempting to keep all drinks to 115 calories or less. tonight i created a crystal light peach iced tea + lemon smirnoff vodka + a few frozen strawberries and a big handful of ice cubes drinky drink. then i tried some sprite(diet of course) and ice and watermelon smirnoff combo. both delightful... i do have some classier beverages on my summer beverage list. one includes gin+lemonade+champagne. but i really don't do champagne, so i'm thinking just some nice club soda perhaps? or some of that diet sparkly water stuff?

another fun summer mission is reading - for the enjoyment of it. i asked many of you for your suggestions. i ignored them all - i apologize. nuggie and i were trying to kill some time this morning, so while at target i perused the book aisle and picked up two that just seemed interesting... i found these:

this one got me for several reasons. first, i LOVE a good tear-jerker. second, it's a memoir of a man who lost his wife right after child-birth due to a pulmonary embolism. we just learned about this tragic pregnancy complication - so it seemed to make sense to read it right now. i've got a box of tissues ready to go.

this one i snagged b/c bub had heard it was good and hello - who doesn't love a good dead president and vampire book?!?

my third mission for this summer is to knit again. i don't even remember how to cast on. will someone help me? nursing school has sucked all the fun and creativity out of my brain :-)

just kidding - nursing school is the best thing i have EVER done for myself. but that's a blog for another day.

i'm gonna go study now - a little blogging was all i needed i guess :-)

guess i should update...

 it's been a while since i updated (as usual) guess i should say a little something, something. so the pics above and below are of sweet nuggie. the zoo had a huge easter egg hunt for members and we thought she was old enough to enjoy it... i think we were wrong. poor little thing got out on the field and found one and half sad little plastic eggs. she about got run over by the stampede of kiddos. she did however enjoy the zoo :-) the meerkats are her favorite b/c she can get so close to them!

 here are nugg and bub in the nursery at church on Easter. oh she had on the sweetest little dress that her grammy pita picked out just for her, but the little stinker won't.sit.still. so this is the best pic i could get. it's a sweet one of her and daddy though :-)

she's growing way too fast. i'm starting to get the itch to maybe give her a brother or sister but nothing is right right now. our house is SO small and nuggie is such a terrible sleeper - how could she and a new little one share a room? we don't even have room in our bedroom to set up a pack n play, so no new kiddo could sleep in there. and school - i MUST finish school. it's too important to me to stop now. and i'm still a chunk. i keep saying i'll lose these 20 pounds, they're not budging. and money - there isn't any. like really, none. in my perfect world i'd graduate and get a great job and we'd move into a bigger home in a nice neighborhood and then everything would be perfection to have another baby. but life isn't perfect. and i'll probably be pushing old age by the time everything comes together all nice and neat. so what to do? up my anxiety meds times like a billion and have another baby? it'll be ok, right? oh heaven's - don't answer that. all we can do is say a prayer, give it to God and trust that HE knows when the time will be right. my job right now - get through these last three weeks of school.

only 5 more weeks

oh sweet end of the semester - you can't get her soon enough! just five more weeks stand between me and summer break! it's been a long school year. i'm tired. i'm frustrated. i feel sorta like a hamster on a wheel. just spinning and spinning and not really getting anywhere. i'm ready for some sunny days spent with my little lady. not worrying about research papers and clinicals and quizes and NCLEX questions and journal articles and toy projects and paperwork... i want to go to the park and the zoo and the pool with nuggie. i want to take long walks and play in the garden. i do have to take one evening class, but it's just an ethics class - not nursing. it'll be nice to have a small break. and i am still looking for a part-time job at one of the hospitals. it's not like i want time off to sit on my booty. i just need to not be sitting in class for a little while.

ok, gripe over. my garden is growing!! i'm quickly learning what i've got a green thumb for and what i've got a black thumb of death for! my peas, onions, garlic, beans, strawberries and herbs are doing well. my tomatoes got something called "early blight" - i talked to mama pita and she suggested some things to hopefully clear it up. i have ELEVEN little 'mater plants that i grew from seed. i can't lose them! my squash and zucchini and peppers looks pitiful. something has eaten most the leaves off my peppers. my squash and zucchini were growing like champs and then the leaves turned brown and shriveled up. why??? i love it though. i love being out in the yard while nuggie naps. our little yard is turning into a wonderful sanctuary. now, will i feel the same way when it's 102 out and i've got to care for my greenies under the blazing sun?? probably not! i'm a half-assed hippy. i love the garden and the sun and the soil... as long as there are no bugs, dirt under my nails and the breeze is blowing :-)

part of my renewed hippy love is trying, for real this time, to rid our home of unnecessary chemicals. i've found, if i'm VERY careful, i can pick up most items at trader joe's and stay on budget. if they're not organic, they are at least free of preservatives and artificial gunk. i think this is especially important for nuggie. i'm not loving my "natural" cleaning products as much as i love my pledge and clorox wipes. but - they do work and it gets more chemicals out of the house. am i crazy? is it a lost cause? who knows. will i probably have to stop when the budget gets extra tight? yea. it's sad sad how much pricier healthy and "green" items are.

only 5 weeks to go...