Friday, June 27, 2014

screamy meltdown on aisle 4

i've been a momma now for nearly 4 years. certainly i'm no expert, but i feel like i'm beginning to wrack up a little experience... but i'm stumped. so if you have any helpful advice, please share.

how do some of you moms make it look so easy? i swear, still getting out the door in the morning takes the amount of effort reserved for things like passing a national law or getting the hubby to agree to a let me watch lifetime at night. i felt so great. we made it to the gym TWICE this week. this is huge. and today, i paid for it. i got the kiddos up and ready, only took about an hour (ugh), got rosie to preschool aaaannnndd realized i forgot her lunch. yep. mom of the year. left her little lunch bag in the fridge. ok - no biggie her teacher says - they have extra lunchy stuff for just such occasions. awesome. i feel like a loser mom, but at least she won't starve. on to the grocery store we go. i get the diaper bag. my purse. my pile of cloth grocery bags - you know trying to save planet earth for the kiddos. my list and coupons - you know trying to save a little cash so they kids can go to college someday. and we get in and E starts losing it. like screaming and throwing stuff and is shivering. he's burning up. and he had a weird rash this morning too. mommy is starting to put two and two together - my main man is sick :-( i start freaking out. who cares if i'm a nurse, your baby is sick and it's game over. he's got a rash people. a rash. a weird one. so i call bub, duh - he'll know what to do. call the dr. he says. great - i do - they can see him this afternoon... ok, but i've got to finish the shopping, so i carry him. all 20 pounds of him. in one arm and shop with the other. trying to go as fast i possibly can without running everyone else over. he's screaming. doesn't want anything but to be held. i'm sure i looked awesome man handling a watermelon into the cart single handed with a screamy boy in the other...

i could go on... but this is my day. my routine. what the what? what am i doing wrong? i try to do good - get back to the gym and the kiddo picks up a nasty little bug. i try to plan ahead and STILL my day falls apart. my house is a wreck. we're eating ham sandwiches for dinner. i haven't showered. what the frap am i missing?!? help a momma out!

alright - let's finish on a positive note. i did make it to the gym twice - better than none times. i did make several super healthy meals this week - black bean/spinach enchiladas one night and baked salmon another - woot. i only splurged one day this week so far and haven't had any candy/cookies/sugary junk otherwise. i'm determined to get healthy again. just wish the kiddos were on board with my plan too.

ok - it's about time to take tiny boy to the doctor.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

living intentionally.

so i used to be the queen of new year's resolutions. every year i would make a list of very detailed goals for the year ahead and most of the time i'd stick to them. then kids came. and nursing school. and life just got hectic. life these days is SLOWLY inching back towards a little "normal" - well, a new normal - you know having brief moments in your day where you can maybe, oh, i don't know - pee alone? or eat a meal without standing up? though, i'll admit, i still very rarely get the chance to use the bathroom alone. what is with kids needing to be in there when you've got business to do?!?

anyways, i made a list of new year's resolutions this past january. thinking, foolishly, i might have time to check a few of them off. well, here we are, june 1 and the list is toast. as in, i haven't been able to check off a single one of them. read a book a month i so grandly jotted down... yea, i just finished my SECOND book last night. as in all i've read is two book so far this year. but hey, that's two more books than i read last year, but still, TWO?

ok, moving along, the book i just finished last night was a little encourager titled Unglued. bub got it for me i think last christmas? if you know me at all you know i don't have to explain that i do in fact tend to come unglued from time to time. i'm stressed. i'm anxious. i'm freaking out all the time. it's who i am - a little high strung. i like to think it's what got me through nursing school. never, ever stop. never ever settle down. just keep going, going, going. BUT what if i don't need to continue to live my life this way? what if there could be a little peace and quiet out there for me?

the author shared a little about creating an intentional sabbath each week. doesn't have to be sunday necessarily, but it does need to be a day to disconnect from work, busyness, stress, chores - all the to-do's - and reconnect to your family, your faith, a little inner silence. this is such a hard one for us these days. i work most weekends. and so we are rarely all together and i think it's so important to rest together... i was off this weekend. and we thankfully took advantage of it. but it's hard. not running around getting stuff "done" feels lazy to me. it's sadly really hard to put the cell phone down. to not zone out with the tv on. but we did it today. we did church this morning. took the kiddos to the pool. left the tv off. had a family meal together. it's been wonderful. and restful and relaxing. i wish we could do this every week.

i encourage everyone to intentionally rest each week. to disconnect from all our busyness. to put the cell phone down. to turn the tv off. to stop trying to keep the house perfectly clean. look, i wasn't a loaf today - but i cooked dinner WITH rosie and she loved it :-) eli "helped" me sort the laundry - AKA wallowed all over the mountain of clothes, giggling the whole time. we spent the afternoon at the pool and ate popsicles and worshiped at church this morning. i hope we can keep it up.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Happy 1st Birthday E!

My little puddin' pie is ONE today!! how can this be?? where did this year go?

Elijah - my tiny main squeeze - has totally stolen my heart. I'm only beginning to understand what it means to be a "boy mom"  - to know the certain special connection a mommy and her son have.

E, Eli, Eli-Pie, Bubba - you have completed our little family boo boo!

Eli is 100% boy - rough and tumble through and through. He's already walking, probably b/c he wants to chase after sissy and pull her hair. He's already climbing - up onto anything he can get his tiny hands on. We've already had our fair share of bumps and bruises and most of the time it leaves me baffled. Sissy could be set on the couch and would chill and watch and take things in... Not you sir, you want to be in the middle of things, be on top of things, literally :-) You don't give hugs, you give a head-butt to show you love someone. You are such a happy baby boy. You love riding in the car, watching cars, and playing with cars - basically anything with wheels makes you happy. You're not an awesome eater - you try to choke on most things - but you do love cheerios and shredded cheese :-) You LOVE bathtime and splashing and making messes. You love to dance and wiggle your tiny booty. 

This time last year we were worried to death about our little bruiser, who was born quite literally covered in bruises :-( He had a tough beginning, stuck in the NICU for a short time, looking like he'd already gone several rounds in a fight... But soon enough he was in our arms, safe and sound and totally perfect. He was a little late and I was supposed to be induced, but wouldn't you know that morning I went into the hospital he decided on his own that that would be his birthday... Just like him already - deciding exactly what he wanted.

Eli is a blessing, a wonder, a handsome little fellow with a personality that bubbles over with giggles and grins. I can't wait to see it unfold over the years. It is a joy and a privilege to be a momma to this sweet baby man.

Monday, May 19, 2014

tell me about the houses

my sweet rosalie insists on being tucked in every night when i'm not working and we have the most precious script that has to be followed each time...

"mommy, let's talk about the houses"
    - i have no idea what on earth she means by this or where it started, but every night it's the same

"who's house should we talk about?"
   - at this point she almost nearly always asks to talk about the neighbor's house.

"ok, let's talk about i & a's house"
    - and we talk about the chickens who live there. because she loves critters. i can't wait till we have chickens of our own for her to care for and look after :-)

"ok, rosie, time for night night kisses."

"mommy, wait, we have to talk about one more thing... mommy, what present do you want?"

"flowers, mommy always wants flowers."

"pink or red?" "mommy, what box do you want them in?"

and this is where it ends. usually... occasionally she wants to talk about the other neighbors house - he has a blue truck - she's obsessed with it.

does anyone else out there find these silly little quarks with their kiddos?? i love that she always wants to talk about "what present do you want" b/c this is rosalie to a T. always giving, always wanting to know what she can do to make someone else happy. she is precious. tender hearted. my sweetest baby girl :-)

Sunday, May 18, 2014

remember that time...

hey guys, remember that time i had a blog? and while i didn't update ALL the time, i did try to post at least once a month or something... and then we had another baby and i started a new job? well, i'm back. i guess? i'll try.

the kiddos are amazing. e's gonna be a year old next week. seriously. how did that happen? nugget is smack in the middle of 3, rounding the corner to 4 and is sassy, and opinionated and totally wonderful. i adore these two wonderful wonders.

work is - ugh - tough, amazing, rough, exhausting and the best thing i've ever done. can't talk about it much - HIPPA and blah, blah, blah. wish i could share the stories. being a nurse allows you to see all sorts of gnarly things.

that's all i got now. hang on to your biscuits friends. things will hopefully be a little more exciting around here.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

nighty night

hey guys! i'm tired. how are you?

so i'm a nurse now. seriously. a nurse. how did this happen?? and i love it. LOVE it! and night shift... it isn't that bad. well, except for the lack of sleep. boo lack of sleep.

a few things that have happened since i started working through the nights... i'm disoriented alot. so i sleep like 9am to 2pm between shifts. my alarm went off on sunday afternoon and i couldn't for the life of me (for about half a minute) understand how it was light out in the middle of the night?? another shift i was walking in to the hospital, CONVINCED that it was 6:30 AM rather than PM. it's bizarre to work through the night while the rest of the world is asleep. it's weird to eat lunch when i should be curled up in bed. it's just odd. but it works. we've found an amazing sitter who helps us and bub's dad comes to stay with the kids so i can sleep between shifts too. and i work sat/sun/mon and then i'm off the rest of the week. bub and i never have a whole day together. ever. so that kinda stinks. but it's best for the kids right now.

and guys... being a nurse kinda rocks. i LOVE it. it's hard. it kicks my ass. i'm still a baby, BABY nurse and have only learned to juggle three patients at a time so far (thank goodness for a LONG preceptorship). i still hardly know anything at all. but to be able to help people. to be there when they're feeling awful and scared and sad... to maybe make all that a little easier. to calm their fears a little. to provide simple comforts that many take for granted. i love it. all of it. well, maybe not the CDIFF poo :-) but other than that, it's pretty amazing.

guess that's it for now. we're all slowly adjusting to this new, crazy life. bub loves his new job too. exhausted, a little stressed, but blessed. that's our life right now.

the kids are amazing. nugget LOVED halloween this year. she was such a big, brave girl and went up to all sorts of houses saying her, "trick or treats". doodle is such a happy, sweet boy. i love my precious babies :-)

hopefully it won't take me another month to update... but we'll see!


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

what does the fox say?

guys, we've been living on limited social interactions these last few months. two unemployed, bummy new parents doesn't exactly equal lots of pop culture knowledge flying around our house. SO when i saw the, "what does the fox say?" guys on ellen a couple weeks ago it was however, the rest of you all seemed to know about this already. um, do an exhausted, sheltered mama a favor and post this crap on facebook my friends. it's the only way i hear about this stuff. if you're even more tired and sheltered than i am do yourself a favor, go to youtube and watch, "what does the fox say?" do it. now. i'll wait....

ok, now that your mind has been blown. on to other fun tidbits.

we're "working" on getting doodle into a better sleep routine. guess what??? it's not working. at all. the little stinker now takes what are so warmly referred to as, "cat naps".  sounds nice enough, right? our cats sleep all day. i'd love to sleep like that. you know what they really are though? 20-30 minute teases. he'll doze off happily and sweetly and i sneak off to do important things like watch "let's make a deal" or eat giant bowls of cinnomin toast crunch and before i can even watch wayne brady give a lady dressed up like the queen of hearts $150, the little peanut-man is awake in his bassinet and ready to par-tay. ugh. at least we're getting him out of the swing, right? all you mom's out there that LOVE to share that your 4 week old is sleeping 22 hours a night, just don't. we're lucky to get 4 hours of sleep in a row. and i want to take my 18 white noise machines and smack you in the head with them. i'm just sayin'.

i looked in the mirror today and ugh, not liking what i'm seeing guys. how the hell am i supposed to work out though? i want to lose 30 pounds. but i like donuts. and bacon. and cheese. i'm guessing that's a problem? i also like sleeping, taking a shower at least every other day and being the kind of mom that does good stuff like changing diapers and feeding the kiddos every now and again. when in the world do i have time to hit the gym or steam quinoa? the last 4 years of my life i've either been pregnant or in school full-time... i've let my smokin' hot bod (ha.ha.) turn in to more of a jello-mold sort of motif. are you good at working out? good at creating healthy super meals you can prepare in 20 seconds or less? contact me. help a chubby mom out please. ok, ok, in all seriousness. i do plan to get back into the swing of things. i'm hoping once november rolls around and our new schedules have sort of settled i'll be able to carve out at least a couple days a week for some gym time and i've been trying to eat healther. excpet for right now. right now i've got a king sized bag of m&m's next to me. look, doodle just had an epic meltdown. the m&m's get it. they understand. they just want to help :-)

ok. everyone is asleep. i best get my booty to bed. after i'm done tucking the m&m's in first of course.