spring break... adult style

spring break 2013 has been a wild one, let me tell you... oh wait, no, not it hasn't - not at all :-)

i've enjoyed it don't get me wrong, but seriously, i could use another week off!

first of all, we've had homework. a case study, kaplan quizzes to work on, tutoring sessions to attend and oh yea, a HUGE endocrine exam to prepare for on monday. i've been working on that all week and still feel immensely under prepared for it. i know i keep saying it, but this semester is kicking my ass. and we're not talking like a jillian michael's ass kicking on biggest loser, we're talking like ending up on the wrong side of the law and being dealt with mobster style and getting your ass pounded with lead pipes and water-boarding and having some teeth knocked out and then watching your puppy get punted off a bridge just for the hell of it...  IF i survive this semester i know for a 100% fact i can overcome anything. the jury is still out though on whether or not i'll end up getting my pin on may 11 :-/

ok, so there's that fun stuff to encourage your day with...

THEN, there's the preparing for little man's arrival. i feel a little guilty. i know he's there, i know he'll be born soon, but i just haven't had much time to process it. i've always got my nose in a book or whatever. i decided i wanted to do some nesting this week to get ready for him. there's not been any time to prepare so far. so, i wanted to clean out stuff... the attic - to see if there was any gender-neutral stuff from nuggie we could use. i've cleaned out closets... which seriously makes me so happy! call me OCD, but whatever, there's not much better than a well-organized and tidy home. i painted little man's shelf that bub built for him. prepped the "baby" shelf in the kitchen again so we have all the bottles and burp clothes and bibs back out. car seat is in the car. double stroller has been purchased. drawers are starting to fill up with tiny diapers and tiny onesies. this weekend we're rearranging our bedroom to make plenty of space for his bassinet since he'll be rooming in with us longer than nuggie did. since they have to share a room i'm anticipating he'll sleep in our room for a while till he's at least *sort of* sleeping through the night. she's such a light sleeper, i know having a little roommate will complicate her night night routine.

this week has also been full of OB, endocrinologist and dentist appts. fun, fun, fun! you know you'd rather do all that than sit on the beach with a fruity drink in your hand. admit it.

in the middle of all this i've enjoyed some awesome quality time with my little nugget. she's amazing... i have to brag on her a little. i love that little lady more and more every single day. i've kept her home from daycare as much as i could (in between dr appts, tutoring sessions and errand running) and we've had some fun :-) we enjoyed the zoo one morning. which is even better this year than last b/c she's really starting to get excited about the animals. we've had lunch dates with dear friends and we've been able to snuggle and watch lots of cartoons :-) she's growing into such an amazing little lady. she's very compassionate right now and tender-hearted. she gets very concerned if she thinks someone is sad and will pat your shoulder and give you kisses to make you feel better. she's starting to sing alot and remembers songs from school. she hates being the center of attention though and will embarrass easily, so we're being sensitive to that, but also trying to show her it's ok to be silly and dance and sing. it's gorgeous today so as soon as she's up from nap we'll be heading out to play in the garden i think!

anyhow - that's a long summary of our little world right now. hope all is well for you my friends... happy spring!

el listo

it's been another month since i blogged. fourth semester of nursing school is to blame this time around. so here's a list for you...

- like i said, fourth (and hopefully final) semester began last month. each semester i think, this can NOT possibly get harder. and then it does. and i want to die. but not, b/c this is the hardest i've ever worked for anything and i'm proud of that. but we had our first exam last week. i seriously studied like 20 hours, minimum. i've NEVER studied that much for one test. and i failed. yep. failed. granted it was a 76, but in our program that won't cut it. and so now i'm failing the course. and i want to cry and be sad and it's stressing me out. i walked out of that test thinking i'd blown it away. and i didn't - at all. so on to exam two i guess. so much rides on me passing, i can't get another grade like that :-(

- add on to school that i'm still chugging along in this pregnancy. overall it's been amazing. baby boy is growing perfectly and i'm healthy... but i'm exhausted. all.the.time. i could take a nap any time, day or night. but i can't. b/c of school and being a mommy already. and it's all such an amazing blessing, but i really did not appreciate how good i had it the first time around being pregnant with nuggie. he's kicking like nuts and FINALLY has a name :-) just a few more months and he'll be here!


- nuggie is doing amazing. she's gone through a huge growth spurt and grew a couple of inches in like two weeks. she's talking up a storm and starting to play pretend. i caught her this morning playing house with a garden gnome. she was kissing him and patting his back and wiping his bottom b/c he was "poopy". she's going to make a great big sister. i worry so much about her and bringing this baby home though. she's our princess and the center of everything - how her little world is about to be turned upside down. i'm scared she'll hate me and not understand and think i don't love her if i have to devote more attention to little man.

- we got another goldfish. he's a sweet little guy who nuggie has named lolo. has anyone else encountered the nuts that work at petsmart though? i wanted to buy a $3 goldfish and i think it was easier to bring nuggie home from the hospital. the woman, who i know only had the best intentions, put me through the ringer asking about how i would care for this goldfish. we've got a little tank for the fishie and she made me promise i was going to buy a bigger one. seriously. b/c didn't i know that a goldfish (a SINGLE goldfish) needs a ten gallon tank? and then didn't i know that i had to vaccum the tank out to clean it? and you never put fish food just on top of the water, i could kill the fish that way. and when i asked to also purchase a snail for our little tank, she refused to sell me one. a snail. she said that my tank couldn't support a snail. seriuosly? i didn't argue with her - i'm sure she knows what she's talking about. but i essentially wanted to buy a bug. and she wouldn't let me. hmph! lolo is doing great by the way. nuggie and i check on him all the time and she loves to watch him swim around.

guess that's about it. happy friday friends!

a bitty baby BOY!

happy 2013 friends :-) i hope the new year finds you happy and healthy! i also hope you all had a much more exciting new year's eve than i did. mine consisted of organizing toddler toys and falling asleep on the couch at 9:30. being pregnant this time of year is super exciting ;-)

we had a great Christmas break. i ended up having my ultrasound a little early after having a teeny little bit of concern that maybe something was going wrong. turns out everyone is just fine and our little bun is in fact a little baby boy! bub and i couldn't be more thrilled. we'll have our little lady and now a bouncing baby boy to add to the mix. now to figure out what to do with the kid's room. nuggie's room was carefully decorated. and well, it's all very girly. lavender and white and sweet little birdies. since a new, bigger home isn't in the cards for us anytime soon the kiddos will have to share for a while. i'm not sure we really want to paint though - since hopefully we'll be selling sometime in the not too distant future i don't really want to go painting the room like half blue now only to have to paint it something more neutral when we put the house up on the market. how do i make up little man's corner of the room to look a little manly, but not do anything too drastic or permanent? and what colors will go with lavender? i guess it really doesn't matter at this point. as long as he's dry, full and cared for he probably won't much care what color his room is. but i think bub cares a little. it is his son after all. i know he'd like to man up the room a bit... any advice?

school started back up this morning. i am scared to death. like really, REALLY scared. there is so much riding on this semester. i've wracked up literally a small fortune of student loans (can't forget all those TNU loans i took out the first time around) - so those will need paying off in the very near future. we've been scraping by one income for over two years now. we're broke and i need to work. as an RN. STAT! so failing this semester isn't an option. but that's a lot of pressure. i'm just going to try to be successful every day. not getting behind, but not freaking out about what's ahead. i'll get through it all one day at a time.

did anyone watch downton abbey last night??? i LOVED that shirley maclaine was the mother-in-law! she was perfection!

anyhow, i don't have anything much else to report. guess that's a good thing :-)

Scary Santa

jeeze-la-weeze... how did i let over a month fly by without a blog?? life has been N.U.T.S.

school has seriously flown by this semester. next week are finals and then i'll be done! only one last semester stands between me and that R.N. (well, not counting the all scary NCLEX exam, but i can't worry about that right now. i'll have a two week old at home when i have to take that. say what?!?). i can't believe the end is in sight!

the baby bump is growing. hard to believe i'm a little over 16 weeks already. we find out the end of the month if it's a little he or a she. everyone keeps asking me what i think it is... honestly either way is amazing. i'd LOVE to have a little boy. a little mini-version of bub :-) a little man to be all rough and tumble with. on the other hand though giving nuggie a sister would be a wonderful thing. girls i get and girls are fun with all the pink and bows and dollies :-) i don't really have any idea what it is, no feelings either way. so it'll be a big wonderful surprise on the 27th!

nuggie is doing amazing. she is growing like a sweet little weed. she's talking up a storm and we're working on potty training. the little stinker is awesome at it, but ONLY if she's a little nudey running around with a bare booty. you put her in a pull-up or big girl panties and whoops, pee-pee puddles. she cracked us up last week though. bub and i were sitting around one evening and she was playing. all of a sudden she popped up like a little bolt and said, "be back, i poop!" and she ran to the bathroom, turned on the light and did her business. she cracks us up every single day.

the poor little thing has a huge fear though... SANTA. there was a little breakfast with santa at her preschool on saturday and she would NOT go near him. i scooped her up and tried to just stand next to the jolly old elf and she literally screamed HELP, HELP, and clawed out of my arms to get away. the photographer even joked that we had "that kid" and laughed and took pictures of the whole scene. well, monday her little preschool put a small, mechanical santa and mrs. clause in their classroom. apparently she spent the whole day eyeballing them and wouldn't go near them. tuesday morning we just turned into the parking lot and she lost it. in the car, screaming, yelling, NO NO NO. i had to take her in though, i had an exam at school :-/ it was awful. her teacher had to pry her out of my arms. but no one had put two and two together. we just figured she was tired or maybe getting sick. i called in about an hour later to check on her and was told they removed those pesky robots from the classroom and she was as calm as can be. silly girl. why, oh why is she so scared of santa??

a sweet friend and i are getting all DIY on the holidays this year. last week we made lavender bath salts to give as gifts. tomorrow we're trying our hand at canning apple butter. now, i grew up the daughter of a true canning queen, but i haven't ever tried it on my own. hope we don't blow anything up!!

hope everyone is enjoying the holidays so far. it's such a joy to have a little one during this time of year. nuggie makes it all so much more fun. last night the three of us snuggled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watched rudolph. she was of course scared of the abominable snow man, but we snuggled her close and got through it together :-)

happy wednesday loves!

be careful what you wish for...

so remember that time not so long ago, i very embarrasingly announced to the WHOLE internet (or at least the 7 of you who read this thing) that my "baby clock" was ticking?!? i blame that whole, silly, awful post on a large adult beverage that may or may not have been consumed while typing it, though ultimately, i must take full responsbility on my over-sharing shoulders...

WELL - the blog angels above (or perhaps some devious little blog demons below) thought it might be funny to grant that wish... nuggie will in fact be a big sister sometime this may. ok, not "sometime" my due date is may 20. exactly NINE days after graduation. NINE. that's an awful slim window of opprtunity for this new little baby to make his or her appearance and me NOT still be a full-time nursing student.

as i am usually, i'll be overly honest and share too much i am sure. but like i said, since only about seven of you actually read this garble, you can all deal... i'm freaking out. and the fact that i'm freaking out is making me feel guilty. i'm not the only one. my dear mom aka pita, exclaimed, "oh shit" when i told her :-) (however immediately followed up with happiness and grandmotherly excitement!) that was about my feeling too. but again, that only adds to my guilt. baby's are a blessing. baby's are a wonderful, precious gift and here i am being selfish and freaking out.

i'm nearing the end of the first trimester. we've had a great ultrasound and little one is looking healthy as a jelly bean can look at this stage. this one is so different than with nuggie though. i.am.sick. i have 24 hour a day morning sickness that typically worsens as the day goes on. i'm craving salt. all i wanted with nuggie was ice cream and sugar, not this one. give me chips, give me popcorn, give me a cheeseburger with salt on it! that said, i'm also trying really hard to not be a giant fat ass with this babes. it's not working too well though. i feel awful ALL.THE.TIME, so getting much done besides school, work, clinicals and oh yeah, being a mommy to the sweet baby i already have and paying a minor amount of attention to my awesome hubby, there's little energy left to hit up the gym. i'm fat. i'm trying to be ok with it. and by trying, i'm not at all ok with it. it makes me cry. but i keep telling myself when this is all said and done i'll be finished with school too. done with clinicals. done with the endless hours of studying. done with tests and that whole mess of stress. i'll just have two little ones and a full-time job to contend with. and honestly, after this hellish start to the school year (ask my classmates, it has been rough), that sounds like a piece of cake. surely i'll have a little time to get back to the gym and take care of myself again? maybe? don't answer that unless you want to say, YES!

freak-outs aside, we really are happy. a sibling is the best gift you can give to your child. i don't know what i would do without my sisterkins. and i know that it will all be ok.

let maternity-hood round two begin :-)

Tweazer Trouble

a long, long time ago i had big old bushy bert and ernie style eyebrows. i mean they were bad. small children may or may not have been lost in them. one night my sweet mother came to me and said, honey, let's pluck those bad boys. and so began my obsession... fast forward to today (well thursday i guess, techinically) and i was in a chair getting my brows waxed. and the woman commented about how "thin" my brows were. thin? THIN? i said i hadn't done anything to them in months (the only reason i was in the salon in the first place was because my broke ass found a coupon). life is so flippin' out of control right now. i haven't had time to stand in the mirror and do that sort of face maintenance. and she informed me that i have OVERtweased my brows. they're toast. tiny. done growing. a word to the wise ladies - don't over pluck those eyebrows. once they're gone, they are gone. boo.

ok - on with this listy list...

#9 - list 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

1. my momma - duh! she's my mom. she taught me to garden and to love cheesy sci-fi disaster movies, well and also other super important life lessons like how to be a kind, non-judgmental human being. she's also been one of my biggest fans as i tackle this silly little thing called nursing school.

2. my sister - she's an amazing nurse. i hope to be half the nurse she is someday. i admire her and everything she's worked through to become the woman she is today. 

3. bub - he and i have essentially grown up together. we've gone from silly 20 year old kids to husband and wife, a family, and parents. we've stumbled together and loved together :-)

4. dave ramsey - we REALLY aren't living the "dave-way" right now. but we have gone through financial peace and when i start getting a paycheck again (a real one) his principals are gonna help us dig ourselves out of a really, hugely, insanely large pile of student debt. he's awesome really. tough, but awesome.

5 & 6 bob and sheri. google them. listen. love them like i do.

7. my sweet and life-long friend kate. she and i have been akward 14 year-olds together and now get to be good-buddy neighbors. she's been amazing with nuggie and an awesome supporter and fan as i tackle all the life-crazies i have going on right now.

8. betty smith. the author. read a tree grows in brooklyn. it is beautiful and sad and amazing.

9. my sixth grade bully and the girl who helped make it better. there was an AWFUL girl (who shall remain nameless) who tormented me when i was a chubby, acne-riddled 12 year old. she said really awful and hateful things to me all year long. she made me sad alot. but then i got to be friends with a super wonderful girl named shannon who was my friend despite my unfortunate face and new-student uncoolness. i really don't think i would have survived the transition into a new school without her. 

10. our instructors at school right now. they are awesome. i'm so thankful to be learning from such passionate, kind women.

alright. i have some super cheesy girl movie wonderfulness to finish watching (bub is out of town :-) night night friends.

an age old question

i know i know, i just blogged, but i've been tossing around some thoughts for a while now and i have no idea where to go with them... i could use some direction and words of wisdom.

why does God allow His people to suffer? why does He allow children to be in pain?

i'm a believer, but lately i'm having real trouble reconciling the God of love being who He says He is and all the pain and suffering that exists around me.

a woman i didn't have the chance to know died this week after a battle with cancer. i've been reading her blog for a LONG time. she was an amazing, Godly woman who never had anything discouraging to say about her diagnosis. she also happened to have two small boys and a husband at home. now they're alone. those two little boys will never get to hug their mother again. never hear her tell them she loves them. how can a God of love allow this??

a family member is going through something similar now. small children, a family. how can this be?

God CAN heal them, yet he doesn't.

i don't understand it. i want to. but right now i just can't. i want to hear what others have to say about this.