Friday, December 23, 2011

up, up and away we go

my super amazing hubby gave me the very best Christmas gift EVER! wednesday he sent me a text asking what we were doing on thursday? i said nothin' - then he said i was wrong that we were having lunch with my momma. SAY WHAT?!? long story short, he surprised me with a trip to oregon to spend the holiday with my family! i had less than 24 hours to prepare to head out of state. everything fell perfectly in to place though - we seriously are blessed with some amazing friends! the best part of it all was telling my mom. she's not ordinarily an emotional person, but i swear i detected a hint of a tear when she found out we'd be all together for Christmas!

now, it's time to get real friends... i love traveling but i hate flying. like really, really hate. nuggie was about as good as i ever could have hoped for. it's me that has the issues. first off, i get anxious - so my stomach goes to knots. and by knots, i mean grumbles of gas and the distinct possibility that i'll need to make an urgent trip to the ladies room. awesome. you know how easy it is to use a plane's potty. is there anything grosser than a "lavatory"? and who calls it a lavatory? we all know what it is. and don't even get me started on changing a poopie diaper in one of those washing-machine-sized spaces. and sitting on the damn thing. could they possibly give you any less space? and why is that i'm ALWAYS and i repeat, ALWAYS stuck behind the joker who wants to recline his seat as far back as humanly possible. then there i am with my wiggly toddler trying to keep her from grabbing at the selfish jack-wads perfectly quaffed hair. but i'm sorta thinking, go ahead sweetie, kick the frap out of that guys chair and pull off his ridiculous sweater tied around his neck. but that's not very polite and i don't really want to teach nuggie to be a little jerk, but golly do i want to smack that man. ok, let's move on. then there's how super awesome i always look. i am so NOT one of those girls with the perfect make-up and stylish clothes, even under the best circumstances, so putting me on a cramped, stuffy plan doesn't help things. when you fly with a little one (at least our little one) we must get the first flight out. so we were up at 3:30am. yeah, that's right - AM! did i put on make-up - NO. did i put on a cute outfit - NO. my hair went in a ponytail and my trusty yoga pants went on. so you stand in line at security, take off your coat, take off your shoes, rush to put everything back on. you sit on the plan in the dry air and cramped seat. you've got a bouncy toddler rubbing cracker crumbs, snot and milk all over your face, shirt and pants. your hair gets pulled all wonky like. your eyes get red, your lips get chapped. you deal with adjusting to time changes, lack of sleep, lack of anything healthy to eat or drink. and then you get to your destination. and i think as i stand at baggage claim waiting for my cheapo luggage to cycle around on the conveyor belt (and don't you sorta want to jump on it and ride it around??) hoping the suitcases are still in one piece and oh yea, that they actually came to our destination with us at all. and i start looking around. and they're there. the cute girls. the ones that have their boots with heals on and their perfect hair and their smudge-free makeup and not a bit of baby goo on them anywhere. and i think - i've got to do better. but how? HOW???? how do they do it? i can hardly get my act together when i've got two feet on the ground - flying just drives everything right off to H-E-Double-Hocky-sticks-fashion-town.

thank God that we're typically flying off to see family, who has to love me no.matter.what :-)

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