let go and let God

i knew that nuggie would eventually come down with a bug or a nasty cold or something - but being in the middle of it now is still really making it hard to be a calm, collected mommy. my sweet babes is sick :-( she woke up early this morning with a fever and a nasty cough. she's had a fever all day. her little eyes are red and sad looking. it completely breaks my heart and is making me a neurotic, crazy mess - more than usual that is :-) i wonder - does she need to go to the ER? should i sleep in her room tonight so i can check her little forehead every 30 minutes to see if she's burning up? do i leave her in jammies or let her run around in just a D? is she too hot, to cold? does she need ice water? you read the books, you ask all your mommy friends and STILL having your first child being really sick for the first time makes you doubt and question everything.

add to this that i have a fundamentals test tomorrow, two tests and a skill checkoff (those lovely catheters) on thursday. oh and for some awful reason, though all my grades are the same and nothing has changed, my total grade for class went from a B to an F when i check it online? i emailed my adviser, but that's on my mind. i know it's got to be an error, but what the FRAP.

i also feel like i'm being an awful friend these days. neglecting friendships and the people i love. the house is a wreck. dinner is going to be done SO stinking late tonight. i have no time to work out. my sweet hubby is getting ignored :-(  EVERYTHING is out of my control right now.

and still - God is there. i had a dream last night, and let me say, i'm not normally the, "God told me something in a dream." sorta girl. but last night i had this very specific dream and God was saying to me, let go and let God. like, let it all go, He's in control, it's all going to be ok. and so, though it feels like my little bitty world is fraying at the seams right now, i'm going to try to just give it all to Him and rest in that.

i would add though that if you're the praying sort, would you say a little prayer for our sweet baby girl, who's real name is indeed NOT nuggie :-) but rosalie. she could use a little healing and a good night of sleep.