my cup runneth over

wednesday morning i was sitting in lab. i happen to sit by 3 young women - ages 19 to 20 or 21. they were discussing girls in their other classes that drive them nuts. and while it wasn't a very nice conversation, i did find myself agreeing with them. that is so NOT the point of this post though, so i'll move on! one of the girls that bug them is a mother. one of the blondies starts ranting along these line: i DON'T care about your kid! what's the deal, you become a parent and you lose your identity? you lose all your interests? ALL you can talk about is your kid? i DON'T care! don't tell me about your kid. if i want to know - I'LL ASK!

whew - she was fired up. i get it. when i was 19 i thought the same thoughts. heck, at that age i didn't think i'd EVER want kids. but now, oh how differently i feel!

it isn't at all that i've lost my identity. i feel like i've taken on a whole new one! one i am privileged to have. i'm someone's mommy! i'm in charge of a little human being. to raise her, to love her, to teach her all about the world - what a blessing! i adore my new role. i'm happier now than i have ever been and yes, i want to talk about it. i can't help but talk about her. she's amazing! i understand these girls, i was one of them a few years back - but now life is so much bigger. it's bigger than me and my little wants and needs. the love you have for a child is so hard to describe. i LOVE bub - he's my best friend, my hubby, the love of my life. but the love i have for nuggie is hugely different. i can honestly say i would jump in front of a train for her and not even think twice about it if i had to do it to protect her. when i see her smile my heart feels like it might literally explode with all the love i have for her. life now is about giving mine away. and a funny little side effect of becoming a parent - i have a whole new understanding of God's love for us. WE are his kids. when he looks at us His heart fills with love. He only wants the very best for us, just like we want for nuggie. i'm starting to realize for the first time in my life that God isn't some meanie in the sky - someone out to punish us if we step one inch out of line - oh no, he wants to shower us with everything good. and that's how i feel about my little love. life is so sweet these days. i'm so lucky and blessed to be able to stay home with my little angel. i'm so lucky to create a little home for bub. my new role of stay at home lady and momma makes me so so happy.

i know those girls in my lab will probably someday have babies of their own and then they'll understand. it's a love that can only be understood when you have babies of your own. i do sorta envy their skinny little frames and awesome spring break plans though :-) being 19 did have its perks!

sweet nuggie says - hello blogland!